Turns out, when you let a 20 month old boy run around in nothing but underpants for over a week, he is not going to be real keen on putting on pants again.
I think it is a combination of the newfound freedom that is not wearing a diaper and the fact that, let's face it, he is a boy. He wants access to his favourite body parts all the time and I actually think being able to play with himself has been a bit of a motivating factor in this whole potty training business. Sit on the potty? You mean like NAKED? I can touch my pee pee?!?! OKAY!!!!
He has said goodbye to the days of trying in vain to shove his little fingers down into a snug cloth diaper and cover and hello to the world of sitting around with his hands in his pants. I don't get it, but I think it may be instinctive.
I'm not even joking about that, though. I mean, think about it. If you are, say, a caveman competing in the original Survivor - not to out wit, or out play, but just to out last - you probably need to reassure yourself that you'll be man enough to reproduce. I'm sure there is some science about this but I don't care enough to look it up. But I do think men do this unconsciously most of the time, and I'm not sure he realizes he is walking around the kitchen in socks, long sleeves, and Thomas the Tank Engine underpants in the smallest size they make with his little hand just hanging out in there, keeping tabs on the boys.
Suvival of the fittest, toddler style.
Showing posts with label Parenting. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Parenting. Show all posts
Friday, January 28, 2011
Tuesday, January 25, 2011
Operation Big Boy
After trying EC last summer and finding that my son makes absolutely NO indication before peeing, I had to abandon ship. But we did have a potty chair and we kept it out and about for him, reinforcing the sign and word (he now uses only the word), and talking about it from time to time.
I had inteded to go full speed ahead at 18 months, but right around then we found out my husband had his new position secured and we would be moving. So I put it off a bit, hoping to do it as soon as we got settled.
But then I started thinking, about 2 weeks or so ago, that if we wait much longer, he may decide he isn't interested so we decided that Operation Big Boy should go ahead, full steam, and see where it goes. I figure if I can get him pretty well trained to at least not have too many accidents and be used to sitting on the potty regularly, then at least that is something I can maintain through the craziness of a move...I think.
I decided to do the following:
1) Regular potty sits. We started with about every 30 minutes, but that was not working so we now do them every 20 and will grdually increase to 30 or more. Sometimes he sits for a few seconds, pees, and we have a little party. Sometimes he sits for 30 minutes. Once, he sat for an hour and a half, of his own accord, and refused to get up until he had peed. I do not force him to sit for any length of time, and most of the time he happily sits for a few stories at least.
2) We read, play with toys, etc. to make it fun.
3) We have "Big Boy Wipes" (Pampers Kandoo, for example) that can ONLY be used when he uses his potty. Somehow, having this limitation seems to make them more exciting, as does getting to get his own wipe out instead of getting one handed to him. We decorated the container with fun stickers, too. They are more or less the same as baby wipes, just flushable, so I intend to replace them with whatever flushable is cheapest at the store.
4) We DO have rewards, but they are not for every sucessful potty visit and they are things he normally gets anyway. For example, might tell him a few times between one potty sit and the next that if he puts pee pee it the potty, he can watch an episode of Yo Gabba Gabba in Papa's chair. Because we have been confined to the non-carpeted floors for a week now, this is super exciting since he gets to go in the living room. I put a big, triple layer of his comforted under him to be safe! He also once in a while gets a temporary tattoo (yeah I know...but its super cute and he loves it) or similar. And at each opportuniy for a reward, he gets only one shot to get it. This keeps him from insisting on Yo Gabba Gabba every time he pees int he potty.
5) When he is sucessful, it is a BIG deal! The best rewards for him have been getting to use a big boy wipe, carry his potty insert to the big potty, dump it, flush it, and WASH HIS HANDS. He loves to wash his hands, so this is a big motivator.
6) I keep track of how many times he uses the potty and how many times he has an accident, for my own record so I can see clearly how we are going.
7) It's big boy undies or bust. We are still in a cloth diaper for nap and a disposable at night, but otherwise there are no diapers. We have not left the house yet, but when we do, it will be with several extra sets of clothes and I may make a small "cover" out of PUL for him to wear to keep from having to clean up pee in the middle of Target.
8) "Pee pee goes in the potty." I read once that kids do not understand, "Tell momma when you need to go," or, "it's okay, accidents happen." The only thing that matters is that you reinforce what you want. So I repeat this mantra, as well as the #2 variation, many times a day, between potty trips and durring, and he is now repeating it himself.
It has been one week and Sunday was his best day so far - 4 hits and only 2 misses. But Monday he literally peed twice as many times and only had about half in the potty. Today, he is doing well with the same stats as Sunday, and it is only naptime. I have been regulating his beverage intake and encouraging more fluids, but I didn't find that getting him to drink almost constantly was working. There was no predictability to when he would need to pee and he had far more accidents than anything else. On the first day, we went though 10 pairs of undies. But since then, we have gone down to as few as 2 or as many as 4.
Since my husband will have been out of town with business trips and work for over 2 weeks when we see him again Saturday, I think he will be pleased to see that his little boy is in big boy pants! And having him gone has actually, while making it a bit more stressful, encouraged me to keep going, trucking along, cleaning up pee pee day after day, because it gives me something to focus on.
I know it sounds like a lot of work, and it isn't for everyone. If I were working outside the home, I would have to take a month of vacation to do this. But I strongly believe that pull-ups are just diapers in bigger sizes and that they delay full training sucess. Diaper companies want nothing more than for your child to wear diapers until a month before kindergarten. I also believe that the sooner you start, the better your sucess will be. Many children will do fine and train quickly at any age, but I know my headstrong boy is going to do better now than if I waited even 6 months.
And one final note...I wish I could post this...I got a nice picture of him sitting in Papa's chair, watching Yo Gabba Gabba this morning...with his hand in his pants. He is such. a. boy.
I had inteded to go full speed ahead at 18 months, but right around then we found out my husband had his new position secured and we would be moving. So I put it off a bit, hoping to do it as soon as we got settled.
But then I started thinking, about 2 weeks or so ago, that if we wait much longer, he may decide he isn't interested so we decided that Operation Big Boy should go ahead, full steam, and see where it goes. I figure if I can get him pretty well trained to at least not have too many accidents and be used to sitting on the potty regularly, then at least that is something I can maintain through the craziness of a move...I think.
I decided to do the following:
1) Regular potty sits. We started with about every 30 minutes, but that was not working so we now do them every 20 and will grdually increase to 30 or more. Sometimes he sits for a few seconds, pees, and we have a little party. Sometimes he sits for 30 minutes. Once, he sat for an hour and a half, of his own accord, and refused to get up until he had peed. I do not force him to sit for any length of time, and most of the time he happily sits for a few stories at least.
2) We read, play with toys, etc. to make it fun.
3) We have "Big Boy Wipes" (Pampers Kandoo, for example) that can ONLY be used when he uses his potty. Somehow, having this limitation seems to make them more exciting, as does getting to get his own wipe out instead of getting one handed to him. We decorated the container with fun stickers, too. They are more or less the same as baby wipes, just flushable, so I intend to replace them with whatever flushable is cheapest at the store.
4) We DO have rewards, but they are not for every sucessful potty visit and they are things he normally gets anyway. For example, might tell him a few times between one potty sit and the next that if he puts pee pee it the potty, he can watch an episode of Yo Gabba Gabba in Papa's chair. Because we have been confined to the non-carpeted floors for a week now, this is super exciting since he gets to go in the living room. I put a big, triple layer of his comforted under him to be safe! He also once in a while gets a temporary tattoo (yeah I know...but its super cute and he loves it) or similar. And at each opportuniy for a reward, he gets only one shot to get it. This keeps him from insisting on Yo Gabba Gabba every time he pees int he potty.
5) When he is sucessful, it is a BIG deal! The best rewards for him have been getting to use a big boy wipe, carry his potty insert to the big potty, dump it, flush it, and WASH HIS HANDS. He loves to wash his hands, so this is a big motivator.
6) I keep track of how many times he uses the potty and how many times he has an accident, for my own record so I can see clearly how we are going.
7) It's big boy undies or bust. We are still in a cloth diaper for nap and a disposable at night, but otherwise there are no diapers. We have not left the house yet, but when we do, it will be with several extra sets of clothes and I may make a small "cover" out of PUL for him to wear to keep from having to clean up pee in the middle of Target.
8) "Pee pee goes in the potty." I read once that kids do not understand, "Tell momma when you need to go," or, "it's okay, accidents happen." The only thing that matters is that you reinforce what you want. So I repeat this mantra, as well as the #2 variation, many times a day, between potty trips and durring, and he is now repeating it himself.
It has been one week and Sunday was his best day so far - 4 hits and only 2 misses. But Monday he literally peed twice as many times and only had about half in the potty. Today, he is doing well with the same stats as Sunday, and it is only naptime. I have been regulating his beverage intake and encouraging more fluids, but I didn't find that getting him to drink almost constantly was working. There was no predictability to when he would need to pee and he had far more accidents than anything else. On the first day, we went though 10 pairs of undies. But since then, we have gone down to as few as 2 or as many as 4.
Since my husband will have been out of town with business trips and work for over 2 weeks when we see him again Saturday, I think he will be pleased to see that his little boy is in big boy pants! And having him gone has actually, while making it a bit more stressful, encouraged me to keep going, trucking along, cleaning up pee pee day after day, because it gives me something to focus on.
I know it sounds like a lot of work, and it isn't for everyone. If I were working outside the home, I would have to take a month of vacation to do this. But I strongly believe that pull-ups are just diapers in bigger sizes and that they delay full training sucess. Diaper companies want nothing more than for your child to wear diapers until a month before kindergarten. I also believe that the sooner you start, the better your sucess will be. Many children will do fine and train quickly at any age, but I know my headstrong boy is going to do better now than if I waited even 6 months.
And one final note...I wish I could post this...I got a nice picture of him sitting in Papa's chair, watching Yo Gabba Gabba this morning...with his hand in his pants. He is such. a. boy.
Thursday, December 23, 2010
Christmas is for Kids; Christmas Eve is for Us.
I don't know about everyone else, but having a toddler this time of year is exciting. Last year, he really couldn't open presents and wasn't all that interested in their contents anyway. We set up his set of alphabet peek-a-blocks and a blow up bobbing penguin thing and he spent maybe ten minutes playing with them. And almost never touched the blocks again. He is terrified of the penguin even when you turn off the sounds. But at 6 months old, we had no real idea of what he would like.
This year, I expect playing Santa to be much more fun.
We are going to help him put out a cookie for Santa and a carrot for the reindeer, explaining to him again how the whole thing works. I assume he will promptly forget, sleep like a baby for the last time on Christmas Eve until he outgrows Santa, and wake up in the morning to see his brand new Little People Farm set and a stocking full of fun little toys and goodies. But, sadly, because of some recent over indulgences and the resulting refusal to eat anything and demands for cookies and candies, he won't be getting any candy. A clementine and goldfish crackers will have to do. We have some great little stocking stuffers I know he will love.
But the fun part for me isn't necessarily the Christmas morning.
Christmas morning is for the kids.
But Christmas Eve is for the adults. For the next however many years until our last little one ceases to be impressed by the fanfare of a nocturnal visit from a fat man in red with a hankering for cookies, Kenny and I get to play the best role any parents can ever play. We get to be Santa. Santa is purely fun. You don't have to give timeout or say no to another cookie. You just do something fun with no strings.
We can sip something cheery, munch on gourmet gift basket fare, and yell at the kids to get back in bed or Santa won't come. We'll stay up late, even though we are guaranteed to be roused early by footy-pajama-clad children. We'll stuff stockings with small, thoughtful gifts and a couple of fun snacks, maybe a little candy. We'll do silly things like use reindeer-hoof shaped kitchen sponges to make muddy paw prints all over the kitchen floor. We'll argue about who gets to eat the cookie and who has to eat the carrot. We'll drink Santa's hot cocoa and giggle like children on Christmas. Because for parents, the best part isn't being a kid on Christmas anymore. It's watching your own kids be kids. We'll be sure to take our time Christmas morning so that everyone takes time to appreciate their gifts, play with their new toys, and have a good time together as a family. But Christmas Eve, we get to be a couple. We're in it together, for better or worse, and Christmas Eve is one of those betters that make the worse not quite so bad.
There may be years when Christmas has to be really creative. There will be times when one child or another will throw a tantrum or get overwhelmed and the whole day will be trying. But no matter what, my husband is the person I want beside me while we navigate the difficult times, and the person I want beside me for the happiest times. And I just can't imagine playing Santa without him beside me for that, too.
I love you, SMcC-B.
Wednesday, December 22, 2010
Being Green v. Saving Green (A Christmas Story)
One thing I knew I wanted for him, but was willing to be flexible about, was a Little People set. I wanted to farm, but would have gone with a good quality used set with another theme if it had the pieces and wasn't too banged up. The price had to be right, too, of course.
I was hoping to save both money and a tiny little bit of space in a landfill, eventually.
However, I was unable to find such a set. In fact, I found tons of Little People sets at consignment shops and sales but not one came with the pieces. What is the point of a Little People play set with no Little People? I had to assume the sellers had bagged them and tagged them separately, hoping to make an extra dollar or two on the sale. But it appears that buyers are happily buying the pieces but not the sets.
So when the Little People farm set with extra bonus pieces went on sale for $29 at Target, I snagged it. The best deal I had seen used was half that for just the farm.
His other major gift is toy pots and pans and dishes and felt food I made, along with some wooden food toys we bought and a set of mama-made spices, salt and pepper, and a bottle of hot sauce (he loves hot sauce). I did look for used kitchen toys but the only ones I found were the cheap plastic kind that come with a bunch of cheaply made cardboard food boxes, usually in a really poorly made plastic shopping cart with wheels that don't work… Although I did find a few pieces that go with a kitchen that makes sounds when you put the pans on the stove or something along those lines (the seller wrote this on the tag). I was not thrilled with these options. I had been sure there would be hordes of eco-minded parents out there selling their much loved wooden play food that had made it through 4 kids and still looked just fine. But I was evidently setting myself up for disappointment. I've also been looking for a good set of wooden blocks for Jack and have failed to find them used for more than about $5 less than the price for a new set, and usually the used set is somewhat dirty and missing pieces. To me, it's worth $5 to have a clean, new set, especially since we are talking about wood, not plastic.
Have you been able to score some good deals on used toys? Or do you prefer to get a great deal on something new?
Friday, December 17, 2010
Clothing your big cloth-bottomed baby
If you were to get hold of your own old baby clothes, you'd probably notice they were a big roomier in the back than baby clothes are today. This is because back when you were a baby, cloth diapers were at least still used a lot if not the primary and preferred method of diapering. Around the time I was a baby, disposables were just begining to gather steam and my parents used cloth only with my older brother, but a mixture with me. Seems I suffered the same affliction as my little guy - yeast rashes.
These days, we have so many cloth options out there that the only problem is finding clothes that fit your little one. Chances are, t-shirts will be true to size, but pants are another issue. When Jack was a bitty thing, onesies were an issue. There are, as I see it, two main options.
First, buy a pack of onesie extenders. We have them. We hated them. But many, many moms swear by them for cloth and sposie bums alike as a great way to extend the life of your child's wardrobe. For us, we turned onesies into t-shirts after about 15 months and haven't looked back. For a pretty tiny price, you can give them a shot.
Second, buy the next size up. This is what we did for a long time, until somewhere around 15 months when we suddenly found that Jack's clothes fit better than they used to. If he weren't so tall for his age, he could still be in 18 months size.
As far as where to shop, I have found that the 5-packs of Carter's onesies are longer and stretchier. Knit is your baby's friend! They have some great little knit pants that come in two packs. I have also found that their onesies with snaps ont he shoulder are not as long or stretchy. If your little ones is on the shorter side, you may find that they fit well in Children's Place and Osh'Gosh. Thesir clothes all seem wider to me and shorter, so I imagine they are great for cloth bums on shorter babies.
We didn't even try to put jeans on Jack much before the last few months. Because he does seem to fit in his size better (he's 90th for height, 50th for weight), we are able to get by with one size up IF the jeans have those adjustable waists. I have to yank them all the way out to make the waist fit, then cuff up the bottoms.
Another option is Baby Legs! They are perfect for cloth bums, great for diaper changes and potty training, and look adorable.
Because of our current situation of being half moved and not at all settled, we are waiting until we ARE settled to get Jack potty trained. All the experts seem to agree that in the middle of something like a move, its best to put it off. So we have the groundwork laid and I have high hopes that this year's clothes will fit next year, too, once we get rid of that big bottom!
These days, we have so many cloth options out there that the only problem is finding clothes that fit your little one. Chances are, t-shirts will be true to size, but pants are another issue. When Jack was a bitty thing, onesies were an issue. There are, as I see it, two main options.
First, buy a pack of onesie extenders. We have them. We hated them. But many, many moms swear by them for cloth and sposie bums alike as a great way to extend the life of your child's wardrobe. For us, we turned onesies into t-shirts after about 15 months and haven't looked back. For a pretty tiny price, you can give them a shot.
Second, buy the next size up. This is what we did for a long time, until somewhere around 15 months when we suddenly found that Jack's clothes fit better than they used to. If he weren't so tall for his age, he could still be in 18 months size.
As far as where to shop, I have found that the 5-packs of Carter's onesies are longer and stretchier. Knit is your baby's friend! They have some great little knit pants that come in two packs. I have also found that their onesies with snaps ont he shoulder are not as long or stretchy. If your little ones is on the shorter side, you may find that they fit well in Children's Place and Osh'Gosh. Thesir clothes all seem wider to me and shorter, so I imagine they are great for cloth bums on shorter babies.
We didn't even try to put jeans on Jack much before the last few months. Because he does seem to fit in his size better (he's 90th for height, 50th for weight), we are able to get by with one size up IF the jeans have those adjustable waists. I have to yank them all the way out to make the waist fit, then cuff up the bottoms.
Another option is Baby Legs! They are perfect for cloth bums, great for diaper changes and potty training, and look adorable.
Because of our current situation of being half moved and not at all settled, we are waiting until we ARE settled to get Jack potty trained. All the experts seem to agree that in the middle of something like a move, its best to put it off. So we have the groundwork laid and I have high hopes that this year's clothes will fit next year, too, once we get rid of that big bottom!
Saturday, December 4, 2010
A used toy that taught me just how much my son knows....
A while back I found a listing on Craigslist for one of thsoe big blown plastic play kitchens from Step2. It was $20 and I couldn't turn it down, and while it tends toward a fair bit of purple, it's fairly gender neutral. I figured it would be a good way to see if it is worth investing in a bigger one, new or used, in the future. I thought he was too young, but would grow into it. I was delightfully wrong.
He loves it.
He started putting his sippy cup on the "water dispenser" in the fridge door almost right away. He was about 14 months old when I bought it and I had no idea that he realized we were getting drinks from the door in the big fridge. But he was watching more than I realized.
Since then, I have been amazed at what he understands about the goings on in the kitchen, and the rest of the world around him. He brings his toddler plates (which he steals from the dishwasher when we are unloading...or loading...ew) and "washes" them in the sink. He will put his cup or snack in the fridge when he is done with it, and if I'm not paying attention, it might just stay there a day or two...yuck.
We bought him a set of Melissa and Doug "Pantry Food" when he was about 15 months old and he knew without being told what most of them were. My dad held up the box of "frozen waffles" and asked him what it was and he said, "faffles," before I had ever heard him say the word before. If we asked him to go get the juice from his fridge, or the butter, or the milk, etc., he would go in the play room, open the fridge, find it, and bring it back. And he closes the fridge door, which I love. He understood right away that it was play food. I made him felt cookies and he pretended to nibble them without actually putting them in his mouth.
While Jack was saying many of the early toddler words by his first birthday (mama, dada, nana, papa, etc), I didn't think he was ahead of the game. And I had no idea how much of a sponge he was. By 14 months, he was regularly using at least 2 dozen words. Now, at 18 months, he can repeat just about anything and is speaking in 2-4 word sentences frequently. He is no longer using signs unless, for example, his mouth is full of food and he wants his sippy cup.
He is learning the alphabet and numbers. If you say the alphabet, he will usually say the next letter rather than repeat the one you say. It blows me away. His pediatrician told me that this language skills are very advanced.
There is the unfortunate side effect of having him repeat what I say in frustration at another driving in the car. No cussing, but a fair bit of impatience and not-so-niceness. But the benefit is that I told him that cars say Hi by beeping their horns and if you ask him, "What does a car say?" he responds with, "beep beep! hi!" Adorable.
He knows the animal sounds for about a dozen animals, thanks in part to Sandra Boynton's "Moo, Baa, LaLaLa," a personal favourite. If you don't have any of her books, you need them. A big step up from Goodnight Moon.
Today, we waited in the car while my mom ran into a store and he kept saying, "Hurry, Nana. Go, Go, Go! Run! Come on, Nana, Come on, Nana," and when I asked him why Nana should hurry up, he said, "Guggle." Guggle is his word for Snuggle, or Hug. He wanted to give Nana a hug. Sweet, no? He's going to be sad when we move.
But I think the best thing is that when I say, "I love you, Jack," he says, "I love you, Momma," and kisses me. Melts my heart every time. I'm trying to pretend this age will last forever.
He loves it.
He started putting his sippy cup on the "water dispenser" in the fridge door almost right away. He was about 14 months old when I bought it and I had no idea that he realized we were getting drinks from the door in the big fridge. But he was watching more than I realized.
Since then, I have been amazed at what he understands about the goings on in the kitchen, and the rest of the world around him. He brings his toddler plates (which he steals from the dishwasher when we are unloading...or loading...ew) and "washes" them in the sink. He will put his cup or snack in the fridge when he is done with it, and if I'm not paying attention, it might just stay there a day or two...yuck.
We bought him a set of Melissa and Doug "Pantry Food" when he was about 15 months old and he knew without being told what most of them were. My dad held up the box of "frozen waffles" and asked him what it was and he said, "faffles," before I had ever heard him say the word before. If we asked him to go get the juice from his fridge, or the butter, or the milk, etc., he would go in the play room, open the fridge, find it, and bring it back. And he closes the fridge door, which I love. He understood right away that it was play food. I made him felt cookies and he pretended to nibble them without actually putting them in his mouth.
While Jack was saying many of the early toddler words by his first birthday (mama, dada, nana, papa, etc), I didn't think he was ahead of the game. And I had no idea how much of a sponge he was. By 14 months, he was regularly using at least 2 dozen words. Now, at 18 months, he can repeat just about anything and is speaking in 2-4 word sentences frequently. He is no longer using signs unless, for example, his mouth is full of food and he wants his sippy cup.
He is learning the alphabet and numbers. If you say the alphabet, he will usually say the next letter rather than repeat the one you say. It blows me away. His pediatrician told me that this language skills are very advanced.
There is the unfortunate side effect of having him repeat what I say in frustration at another driving in the car. No cussing, but a fair bit of impatience and not-so-niceness. But the benefit is that I told him that cars say Hi by beeping their horns and if you ask him, "What does a car say?" he responds with, "beep beep! hi!" Adorable.
He knows the animal sounds for about a dozen animals, thanks in part to Sandra Boynton's "Moo, Baa, LaLaLa," a personal favourite. If you don't have any of her books, you need them. A big step up from Goodnight Moon.
Today, we waited in the car while my mom ran into a store and he kept saying, "Hurry, Nana. Go, Go, Go! Run! Come on, Nana, Come on, Nana," and when I asked him why Nana should hurry up, he said, "Guggle." Guggle is his word for Snuggle, or Hug. He wanted to give Nana a hug. Sweet, no? He's going to be sad when we move.
But I think the best thing is that when I say, "I love you, Jack," he says, "I love you, Momma," and kisses me. Melts my heart every time. I'm trying to pretend this age will last forever.
Thursday, July 8, 2010
Yes, I'm "still nursing"
In this country we have cultivated ideals about parenting that are simply not beneficial to children.
For example, I have never been terribly fond of the baby entertainers and I skipped registering for them. I bought a boucy seat at a consignment store so I would have a safe place to put my son that was easily portable and visual for me, but I believed they were not a healthy place for a baby to spend a lot of time, especially asleep, so I didn't try to put him in it a lot. Mostly just so I could take a shower every now and then. He hated it and I would have all of five minutes to shower if I was lucky before he flipped out.
Why? Because babies are not hard-wired to want to bounce in a seat alone, strapped into a harness, with some silly little stuffed animal dancing around in their faces. They're hard-wired to want mama (or maybe sometimes dada) and they want her all the time.
All. The. Time.
And that's normal.
Maybe there are a lot of babies out there who are perfectly happy to sit contently in a bouncy seat or on a play mat/gym or in a jumparoo. My kid is not one of them, and I never really expected him to be.
He wanted to be held. So I held him.
I held him while he slept because by his third day, I already knew he slept better and longer if he slept beside me. I held him 90% of the day at least and at night he slept beside me - first in a cocoon, but soon enough in bed with me. In the cocoon, he slept okay, but I didn't. I fretted all night. Beside me in bed, we both slept well for many months.
People told me he needed to learn to sleep alone.
People told me I was spoiling him.
Personally, I find it hard to believe that an infant has the capacity to manipulate, so I responded to his needs. I couldn't imagine anymore why I ever expected him to spend time alone, especially when I was right there beside him. It felt natural, and right.
It reminds me a little of what I dislike the most about disposable diapers. Yeah, of course, I WOULD find a way to bring that up! But in all seriousness, the new Pampers Dry Max is touted for being dry for up to 12 hours, giving babies more uninturrupted play time. But is 12 hours in a wet diaper a good parenting choice?
I like to think that most parents, at least those who can reasonably afford adequate diapers (disposable or otherwise) do not limit diaper changes to 2 per day. No one believes this is ideal. And yet, I kind of think parents who use disposables sort of expect to get a lot of milage out of each diaper. They don't want to change it and throw it away if it isn't, well, "full". Other moms have told me this in person so I'm not making it up in my head. At about 25 cents a pop, you're spending money every time you cahnge your baby.
But my point is illustrated nicely in this because many parents these days seem to think that parenting is largely hands-off. Babies sleep in cribs, play in play yards or on mats or in contraptions they cannot escape, and get carried around in their infant seats, which are now often referred to as "carriers".
But it all comes down to our need to control things we cannot control. If you force your infant to sleep alone and play alone, s/he won't "need" you there all the time and you can have your hands free. Wean, and you get your body back.
But the fact is that babies should be in control of what they need. Parents are there to meet those needs in the way they feel is best. Ignore the diaper and formula commercials, the huge list the baby superstore gives you for a regisrty guide, even forget what your mother tells you. No one else knows what is best, and no product in a store will make parenting easier. They may even do more harm than good!
Raise your children with love and care. They are precious and before you know it, they will stand up, take a few steps, and start an all too short journey away from you.
As for Jack? I have a 14 month old son who is quite secure. Yes, he is "still nursing" and he's happy as a clam about it. So am I! He also wanders off and explores his world. He isn't attached to me all the time anymore, but it's up to him. Boogie decides when he needs to be near me and when he can explore. But he has limits, which he tests constantly. But I live day by day, secure in the knowledge that my son will continue to test me for as long as it takes to him to see exactly where the boundries are. It's a journey we are taking together.
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For example, I have never been terribly fond of the baby entertainers and I skipped registering for them. I bought a boucy seat at a consignment store so I would have a safe place to put my son that was easily portable and visual for me, but I believed they were not a healthy place for a baby to spend a lot of time, especially asleep, so I didn't try to put him in it a lot. Mostly just so I could take a shower every now and then. He hated it and I would have all of five minutes to shower if I was lucky before he flipped out.
Why? Because babies are not hard-wired to want to bounce in a seat alone, strapped into a harness, with some silly little stuffed animal dancing around in their faces. They're hard-wired to want mama (or maybe sometimes dada) and they want her all the time.
All. The. Time.
And that's normal.
Maybe there are a lot of babies out there who are perfectly happy to sit contently in a bouncy seat or on a play mat/gym or in a jumparoo. My kid is not one of them, and I never really expected him to be.
He wanted to be held. So I held him.
I held him while he slept because by his third day, I already knew he slept better and longer if he slept beside me. I held him 90% of the day at least and at night he slept beside me - first in a cocoon, but soon enough in bed with me. In the cocoon, he slept okay, but I didn't. I fretted all night. Beside me in bed, we both slept well for many months.
People told me he needed to learn to sleep alone.
People told me I was spoiling him.
Personally, I find it hard to believe that an infant has the capacity to manipulate, so I responded to his needs. I couldn't imagine anymore why I ever expected him to spend time alone, especially when I was right there beside him. It felt natural, and right.
It reminds me a little of what I dislike the most about disposable diapers. Yeah, of course, I WOULD find a way to bring that up! But in all seriousness, the new Pampers Dry Max is touted for being dry for up to 12 hours, giving babies more uninturrupted play time. But is 12 hours in a wet diaper a good parenting choice?
I like to think that most parents, at least those who can reasonably afford adequate diapers (disposable or otherwise) do not limit diaper changes to 2 per day. No one believes this is ideal. And yet, I kind of think parents who use disposables sort of expect to get a lot of milage out of each diaper. They don't want to change it and throw it away if it isn't, well, "full". Other moms have told me this in person so I'm not making it up in my head. At about 25 cents a pop, you're spending money every time you cahnge your baby.
But my point is illustrated nicely in this because many parents these days seem to think that parenting is largely hands-off. Babies sleep in cribs, play in play yards or on mats or in contraptions they cannot escape, and get carried around in their infant seats, which are now often referred to as "carriers".
But it all comes down to our need to control things we cannot control. If you force your infant to sleep alone and play alone, s/he won't "need" you there all the time and you can have your hands free. Wean, and you get your body back.
But the fact is that babies should be in control of what they need. Parents are there to meet those needs in the way they feel is best. Ignore the diaper and formula commercials, the huge list the baby superstore gives you for a regisrty guide, even forget what your mother tells you. No one else knows what is best, and no product in a store will make parenting easier. They may even do more harm than good!
Raise your children with love and care. They are precious and before you know it, they will stand up, take a few steps, and start an all too short journey away from you.
As for Jack? I have a 14 month old son who is quite secure. Yes, he is "still nursing" and he's happy as a clam about it. So am I! He also wanders off and explores his world. He isn't attached to me all the time anymore, but it's up to him. Boogie decides when he needs to be near me and when he can explore. But he has limits, which he tests constantly. But I live day by day, secure in the knowledge that my son will continue to test me for as long as it takes to him to see exactly where the boundries are. It's a journey we are taking together.
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Friday, July 2, 2010
Baby's Favourite Banana Pancakes
Finally getting around to posting this. I've been tinkering with a few batches, but since we generally freeze them and they last a while, it's taken time to get it just right.
Please note that there are several substitutions and I have tried no more than one at a time. So doing all at once may cause a mess for all I know...
Baby's Favourite Banana Pancakes
Ingredients:
1 1/2 c whole wheat flour
2 T sugar (optional)
1 1/2 t baking powder
1/2 t salt
1 1/2 c milk (no to dairy? try apple juice)
2 T melted butter (I assume, but don't know, that oil or a veg. butter substitution would work. Haven't tried this one though)
2 eggs (or just egg yolks, or omit them and add a little more banana, or applesauce)
1 ripe banana, mashed (as ripe as can be!)
Method:
Mix together flour, sugar, baking powder, and salt.
Combine the rest of the ingredients in a separate bowl, then add to the flour mixture and stir to combine. Don't over-mix!
Too wet? Add a little more flour at a time.
Too dry? Add more milk a little at a time.
Allow the batter to sit while heating a griddle or pan to med-low/med. heat. I butter the pan before each new batch, but feel free to use the pan lubrication option of choice.
Drop 1/4 c at a time into hot pan, flipping when the edged are dry and any bubbles have popped.
Should make something in the neighborhood of 16 pancakes, but my batches seem to vary from about 12-18. Feel free to make smaller or larger for your child's preference!
We serve them up plain and then freeze teh rest, layered between wax paper sheets. They reheat in about 30 seconds in the nuke, or toaster "frozen" cycle if they are big enough.
Enjoy! Next up will be our new favourite, Apple Cinnamon Oat Pancakes!
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Please note that there are several substitutions and I have tried no more than one at a time. So doing all at once may cause a mess for all I know...
Baby's Favourite Banana Pancakes
Ingredients:
1 1/2 c whole wheat flour
2 T sugar (optional)
1 1/2 t baking powder
1/2 t salt
1 1/2 c milk (no to dairy? try apple juice)
2 T melted butter (I assume, but don't know, that oil or a veg. butter substitution would work. Haven't tried this one though)
2 eggs (or just egg yolks, or omit them and add a little more banana, or applesauce)
1 ripe banana, mashed (as ripe as can be!)
Method:
Mix together flour, sugar, baking powder, and salt.
Combine the rest of the ingredients in a separate bowl, then add to the flour mixture and stir to combine. Don't over-mix!
Too wet? Add a little more flour at a time.
Too dry? Add more milk a little at a time.
Allow the batter to sit while heating a griddle or pan to med-low/med. heat. I butter the pan before each new batch, but feel free to use the pan lubrication option of choice.
Drop 1/4 c at a time into hot pan, flipping when the edged are dry and any bubbles have popped.
Should make something in the neighborhood of 16 pancakes, but my batches seem to vary from about 12-18. Feel free to make smaller or larger for your child's preference!
We serve them up plain and then freeze teh rest, layered between wax paper sheets. They reheat in about 30 seconds in the nuke, or toaster "frozen" cycle if they are big enough.
Enjoy! Next up will be our new favourite, Apple Cinnamon Oat Pancakes!
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Friday, June 25, 2010
Parenting advice/ parenting someone else's child
Now that I have my son, I am confronted with parenting issues all over the place. If it isn't my own child, sometimes it's someone else's.
There are as many ways to parent as there are parents in the world, so I expect to rarely run into a parent with very many of my ideals. I'm also somewhat outside the box as far as modern parenting goes.
But sometimes I see something so bad I think...can't I step in?
For example, we recently went to a children's museum in another town nearby. My son loved best the room reserved for infants and toddlers, dubbed "The Gentle Zone". While in there, we encountered several parenting issues that I wanted to confront, but didn't, for various reasons. The one that bothered me most, of course, involved disposable diapers.
A little girl was playing on the little bitty slide. She had a very short little baby dress on, which I don't really object to in general (although I would have had a diaper cover of some sort on my child, but whatever, she was about 18 months). However, it is relevant because I could see her diaper from every angle as she moved about the room. She was in the same area with Jack and it was inevitable to notice that her diaper was pretty soaked. You know how disposables look when they are saturated? For boys, its mostly in the front. Girls tend to be more in the middle, but this one was full up to her waist. At one point, she bend over and I could see the tell-tale lumpiness of poop in the back.
I was pretty horrified. See, mom and dad weren't standing to the side, barely watching. No, they were interacting with their daughter constantly! They were having a blast! This of course could explain why they didn't notice - we are blind to some things when we are highly tuned into others - but I was sort of tempted to draw their attention to it.
I didn't. Not because I feared the kind of ugly, defensive confrontation that the first scene could have caused, but because hygiene is so...personal. Even for a baby or toddler. Parents who are obviously so head over hills in love with their child that they brought her to an awesome museum and are interacting with her so throughly shouldn't be the kind of parents who don't notice that their child is soaking wet and has pooped her diaper. But we also live in a country that has come to think of diapers as "hygienic" for some reason. We believe that disposable diapers are "clean and dry" even after a child urinates in them. So telling another parent that it's time for a diaper change seems invasive in some way.
On top of that, some parents just don't think diaper changes are that important. I have met women who have told me that they wait as long as possible to change diapers because they are so expensive. One woman told me that she knew that it was "bad" but that her baby didn't seem to mind being wet and it was one less thing to do so she only changed on a schedule unless he pooped. And in this incident at the museum, its entirely possible that these parents view the fun their child is having and the positive learning environment as more important than stopping all that for a diaper change.
And its possible that they just didn't notice.
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There are as many ways to parent as there are parents in the world, so I expect to rarely run into a parent with very many of my ideals. I'm also somewhat outside the box as far as modern parenting goes.
But sometimes I see something so bad I think...can't I step in?
For example, we recently went to a children's museum in another town nearby. My son loved best the room reserved for infants and toddlers, dubbed "The Gentle Zone". While in there, we encountered several parenting issues that I wanted to confront, but didn't, for various reasons. The one that bothered me most, of course, involved disposable diapers.
A little girl was playing on the little bitty slide. She had a very short little baby dress on, which I don't really object to in general (although I would have had a diaper cover of some sort on my child, but whatever, she was about 18 months). However, it is relevant because I could see her diaper from every angle as she moved about the room. She was in the same area with Jack and it was inevitable to notice that her diaper was pretty soaked. You know how disposables look when they are saturated? For boys, its mostly in the front. Girls tend to be more in the middle, but this one was full up to her waist. At one point, she bend over and I could see the tell-tale lumpiness of poop in the back.
I was pretty horrified. See, mom and dad weren't standing to the side, barely watching. No, they were interacting with their daughter constantly! They were having a blast! This of course could explain why they didn't notice - we are blind to some things when we are highly tuned into others - but I was sort of tempted to draw their attention to it.
I didn't. Not because I feared the kind of ugly, defensive confrontation that the first scene could have caused, but because hygiene is so...personal. Even for a baby or toddler. Parents who are obviously so head over hills in love with their child that they brought her to an awesome museum and are interacting with her so throughly shouldn't be the kind of parents who don't notice that their child is soaking wet and has pooped her diaper. But we also live in a country that has come to think of diapers as "hygienic" for some reason. We believe that disposable diapers are "clean and dry" even after a child urinates in them. So telling another parent that it's time for a diaper change seems invasive in some way.
On top of that, some parents just don't think diaper changes are that important. I have met women who have told me that they wait as long as possible to change diapers because they are so expensive. One woman told me that she knew that it was "bad" but that her baby didn't seem to mind being wet and it was one less thing to do so she only changed on a schedule unless he pooped. And in this incident at the museum, its entirely possible that these parents view the fun their child is having and the positive learning environment as more important than stopping all that for a diaper change.
And its possible that they just didn't notice.
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Potty Training - Day Whatever
Not sure why I was numbering those posts. I have no idea what day we are in. I do know it has been over a week and I have changed only two poopy diapers. Once, I knew he was going but thought it was too late. I then went to change him immediately when I thought he was done and found that he wasn't! So I hurried him to the potty. Which was delightful, as I then had to both empty the poo from the potty AND dump/spray a diaper. The worst of both worlds, eh? The second time, I wasn't watching him (as in, I was elsewhere and someone else was watching him who did not know the signs). That time, it was also someone else who changed the diaper, so technically I have only changed 1but there have been 2.
He is starting to understand the ASL sign for potty, which may or may not be the real ASL sign. Someone I spoke with today showed me what she believes if the correct sign. However, we do not employ daycare or anything like that so it is really only our family that needs to know the sign so we are going to use the one we started, which is almost the same anyway. At any rate, he looks toward his potty when I sign and ask if he wants to sit on it.
Since we have been having trouble finding signals that he is going to soon pee, we are concentrating on #2 ont he potty for now. I feel like by the time he does learn the sign and associate eliminating with the potty and then use the sign to tell me he needs to use the potty, etc., he will start to associate urinating with all of that as well. He DOES however still look down at his boy parts area whenever he pees, diaper or no, so I suspect that just having this diaper-free time has been helpful in learning to recognize the sensations.
Another small update - this morning, he sat down on his potty (fully diapered and jammied) and played with a toy for a minute or so before getting up. So I think he is getting more comfortable with the potty in general. I also think it may be somewhat novel for him to have a seat other than his high chair/booster or sitting on a couch or chair with an adult.
My expectations? I think that over the next 4-6 months he will slowly learn to make these associations and let me know when he needs to use the potty. I expect that by the time he turns 2, he should be using the potty and hopefully out of diapers at least most of the time - although I am not holding out hopes that he will be completely out of training pants. When we are ready for trainers, I'll stick with cloth of course.
I'm thinking that once he is signing or vocalizing his need to eliminate, he can switch to trainers. This way, we can bypass the fancier pocket trainers that are, ultimately, just a diaper that pulls on and off and go right to something that isn't waterproof at home and maybe some that are when we go out.
I've also read that a lot of kids respond well to a system of having to go back into a diaper if they wet their training pants. The extra incentive sounds effective and not at all cruel. Boogie is not in love with wearing anything, let alone a diaper, so I suspect that this method will work well for him!
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He is starting to understand the ASL sign for potty, which may or may not be the real ASL sign. Someone I spoke with today showed me what she believes if the correct sign. However, we do not employ daycare or anything like that so it is really only our family that needs to know the sign so we are going to use the one we started, which is almost the same anyway. At any rate, he looks toward his potty when I sign and ask if he wants to sit on it.
Since we have been having trouble finding signals that he is going to soon pee, we are concentrating on #2 ont he potty for now. I feel like by the time he does learn the sign and associate eliminating with the potty and then use the sign to tell me he needs to use the potty, etc., he will start to associate urinating with all of that as well. He DOES however still look down at his boy parts area whenever he pees, diaper or no, so I suspect that just having this diaper-free time has been helpful in learning to recognize the sensations.
Another small update - this morning, he sat down on his potty (fully diapered and jammied) and played with a toy for a minute or so before getting up. So I think he is getting more comfortable with the potty in general. I also think it may be somewhat novel for him to have a seat other than his high chair/booster or sitting on a couch or chair with an adult.
My expectations? I think that over the next 4-6 months he will slowly learn to make these associations and let me know when he needs to use the potty. I expect that by the time he turns 2, he should be using the potty and hopefully out of diapers at least most of the time - although I am not holding out hopes that he will be completely out of training pants. When we are ready for trainers, I'll stick with cloth of course.
I'm thinking that once he is signing or vocalizing his need to eliminate, he can switch to trainers. This way, we can bypass the fancier pocket trainers that are, ultimately, just a diaper that pulls on and off and go right to something that isn't waterproof at home and maybe some that are when we go out.
I've also read that a lot of kids respond well to a system of having to go back into a diaper if they wet their training pants. The extra incentive sounds effective and not at all cruel. Boogie is not in love with wearing anything, let alone a diaper, so I suspect that this method will work well for him!
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Friday, June 18, 2010
Potty Training - Day 2ish
So Boogie has definite signals that a #2 is coming, but his pee signals are not clear yet. He seems as surprised as I am when he suddenly stars to pee!
We had some outside naked time Wednesday and he only peed once, and was thoroughly amazed when he crouched down and saw himself pee for the first time. He then proceeded to play with his little boy parts for a bit, but that's nothing new...boys, right?
So we have been having daily naked time in the kitchen and he seems to enjoy it, since we have not really ever let him spend much time in there. Our cocker spaniel is pretty incontinent and that's where he spends most of his time, so it was always easier to gate him in and keep Boogie out.
For right now, we will be sticking with some daily naked time and try to get him on the potty often and whenever we see signs of impending elimination. However, of the 5 times he has so far peed while naked, twice he has crouched down first, but three times he hasn't. I haven't recognized any other signals but I'm going to just keep watching until we do. Eventually it will happen.
My goals for now are to learn his signals and teach him the ASL sign for "potty". He did well with the ASL sign for "milk" and has started signing again after a hiatus of pulling on my shirt instead. We re-instated the milk sign recently and he took it back in really fast, so I have high hopes that we can learn the potty sign within a few weeks and at least learn to associate the sign with the potty itself.
Fortunately, he seems more than able to eliminate without a diaper, which I credit to his being in cloth. However, he is still not bothered at all by a wet or dirty diaper, so I'm also hoping he will start to feel the wetness and signal to me that he needs to be changed. I think this will help in the process if he can learn to be uncomfortable with a wet or dirty diaper.
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We had some outside naked time Wednesday and he only peed once, and was thoroughly amazed when he crouched down and saw himself pee for the first time. He then proceeded to play with his little boy parts for a bit, but that's nothing new...boys, right?
So we have been having daily naked time in the kitchen and he seems to enjoy it, since we have not really ever let him spend much time in there. Our cocker spaniel is pretty incontinent and that's where he spends most of his time, so it was always easier to gate him in and keep Boogie out.
For right now, we will be sticking with some daily naked time and try to get him on the potty often and whenever we see signs of impending elimination. However, of the 5 times he has so far peed while naked, twice he has crouched down first, but three times he hasn't. I haven't recognized any other signals but I'm going to just keep watching until we do. Eventually it will happen.
My goals for now are to learn his signals and teach him the ASL sign for "potty". He did well with the ASL sign for "milk" and has started signing again after a hiatus of pulling on my shirt instead. We re-instated the milk sign recently and he took it back in really fast, so I have high hopes that we can learn the potty sign within a few weeks and at least learn to associate the sign with the potty itself.
Fortunately, he seems more than able to eliminate without a diaper, which I credit to his being in cloth. However, he is still not bothered at all by a wet or dirty diaper, so I'm also hoping he will start to feel the wetness and signal to me that he needs to be changed. I think this will help in the process if he can learn to be uncomfortable with a wet or dirty diaper.
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Thursday, June 17, 2010
Potty Training - Day 1
So we have started the earliest stages of Potty Training. Although, to be fair, many would claim that teh earliest stages should mean starting at about 3 months of age. Personally, while I believe that Elimination Communication (or Natural Infant Hygiene) can and do work for many families, cloth diapers worked well for us.
And they still do! I'm not parting with diapers anytime real soon, but I noticed recently that my son does not seem to be bothered by wet or dirty diapers and I believe this is problematic.
Back in 1961, when Proctor and Gamble were first developing disposable diapers, they hired a pediatrician to do their dirty work. He was hired to convince parents that disposable diapers are cleaner, dryer, and safer than early potty training. In the early 1900's, even in the US babies were potty trained from very early ages and most children started by 9 months.
Now, the average age of potty training is around age 3! Many parents are waiting longer and longer to potty train, waiting for a mystical, magical "readiness" that may not actually exist. Pediatricians are telling parents that waiting until their child is older is fine, but the reality is that as kids get older, they crave stability, control, and schedules. So I've asked myself, "Does it make sense to wait until Boogie is older to teach him to use the potty?"
The answer I have come to is a resounding no. But, I do understand that modern life means not everyone can potty train their young babies and toddlers. Day cares are not always able to help working parents and it just isn't always feasible to potty train based on watching your child like a hawk to see the often subtle cues that signal impending elimination.
However, I am fortunate in being able to stay home with my son.
And this morning, I got him on his potty in time for #2! Not that he understands yet, but he will. Naked time is fun for him!
I'd post a picture but...uh...ew...
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And they still do! I'm not parting with diapers anytime real soon, but I noticed recently that my son does not seem to be bothered by wet or dirty diapers and I believe this is problematic.
Back in 1961, when Proctor and Gamble were first developing disposable diapers, they hired a pediatrician to do their dirty work. He was hired to convince parents that disposable diapers are cleaner, dryer, and safer than early potty training. In the early 1900's, even in the US babies were potty trained from very early ages and most children started by 9 months.
Now, the average age of potty training is around age 3! Many parents are waiting longer and longer to potty train, waiting for a mystical, magical "readiness" that may not actually exist. Pediatricians are telling parents that waiting until their child is older is fine, but the reality is that as kids get older, they crave stability, control, and schedules. So I've asked myself, "Does it make sense to wait until Boogie is older to teach him to use the potty?"
The answer I have come to is a resounding no. But, I do understand that modern life means not everyone can potty train their young babies and toddlers. Day cares are not always able to help working parents and it just isn't always feasible to potty train based on watching your child like a hawk to see the often subtle cues that signal impending elimination.
However, I am fortunate in being able to stay home with my son.
And this morning, I got him on his potty in time for #2! Not that he understands yet, but he will. Naked time is fun for him!
I'd post a picture but...uh...ew...
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Sunday, May 9, 2010
My First Mama's Day Card
There is a part of me that wants to keep this all to myself, because it makes me so incredibly happy. But as I was writing my last post just moments ago, I decided that I just had to tell the world (or the maybe 6 people who "follow" me at this point haha) how thoughtful and loving my husband is.
Today I recieved my first Mama's Day card and this is what Boogie "wrote" inside:
Dear Mama,
Thank you for my swimmin pool and my superman shirt, and my squishy frog, and for snacks and panacakes, and for not letting me eat Whimbly's food. But most of all, thank you for showing me that, even though we're both new to the whole thing, Mama loves me, and I can rely on that for the rest of my life.
I love you,
(Boogie)
P.S. Red boat get sinked.
Whimbly, by the way, is our cocker spaniel. The boat thing is a bathtime reference. I wouldn't have included it except that if I ever lose the card, I like to think I could look back here and see it.
My husband rocks.
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Today I recieved my first Mama's Day card and this is what Boogie "wrote" inside:
Dear Mama,
Thank you for my swimmin pool and my superman shirt, and my squishy frog, and for snacks and panacakes, and for not letting me eat Whimbly's food. But most of all, thank you for showing me that, even though we're both new to the whole thing, Mama loves me, and I can rely on that for the rest of my life.
I love you,
(Boogie)
P.S. Red boat get sinked.
Whimbly, by the way, is our cocker spaniel. The boat thing is a bathtime reference. I wouldn't have included it except that if I ever lose the card, I like to think I could look back here and see it.
My husband rocks.
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